Usagi Tsukino, the crybaby, poor study, bad girl of movement in the clunker.
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These will also, as it turns out, be of equal interest to Websnark fans….

Understanding that I actually found this to be funny?

Every panel from 2-5 involved the plant in question literally asking for help with its own survival.

I’m just saying. If someone came to offer me spiritual advice when A) there were predators about to eat me, B) there wasn’t enough food for all of us to survive, C) there was an infestation potentially about to consume me from within, or D) some guy with a chainsaw had marked me for death… what would you expect me to ask you? The way to inner peace?

As for panel one? With luck she gave him a fedora before walking away.



“Are you REALLY a Legion fan? What are your favorite stories and characters? We’re just making sure that you’re joining the right group since sometimes we get requests from people who don’t even know who the LSH are! Thanks!”

— —an honest to Christ IM I got when I clicked on a link for a Legion of Superheroes discussion group on Facebook.

My response (after the cut):

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New Year’s Day, or “oh crap.”

“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” –John Lennon

It was the worst sound I had ever heard in my life. The most horrifying, hideous noise in the universe. It was a sound I’ve literally heard in my nightmares for months since then.

And it came from my wife’s throat.

It was, weirdly enough, New Year’s Day. Day one of 2014. And we had plans.


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For the record, this is meant for Websnark the same as Banter Latte.


In honor of the 450th anniversary of what we assume was Shakespeare’s birthday, I give you this to look forward to, culturally speaking.

In just 350 years or so — a drop in the bucket, temporally speaking — there will be a monumental debate among intellectuals, critics, historians, and lay people. Movies will be made on the topic. Plays will be written. Whatever new media we can’t imagine now will devote itself to what to so many will be self-evident.

After all, there’s no possible reason why anyone could believe that Aaron Sorkin actually wrote those plays, movies and television shows. I mean, look at the facts of his life. Could that man have convincingly written about working for the president? He never worked for the president! He never worked for a sports channel! He was just a failed actor — one with a B.F.A. instead of a B.A.! A B.F.A. in Musical Theater for God’s sake!

Musical theater! Open your eyes, man!

And some people will claim that clearly all those projects were really written by David Mamet, who didn’t want to look like he was slumming on television or in Rob Reiner films. And some will claim he was really the public face of Josh Molina, which is why he kept getting ‘cast’ in those projects. And others will claim he was really Dee Dee Myers, or Keith Olbermann, or Bill Clinton.

And when people will point to the mountain of evidence that clearly indicate Sorkin wrote the things with his name on him, that evidence will either be ignored or dismissed, while the most tenuous of connections will be used to validate the Sorkinite theory of the day. “Actual footage of Sorkin writing? Phaw! You’re forgetting that in 1983 Aaron Sorkin met Joyce Dewitt!”

And absolutely none of it will have any bearing on much of anything, so long as people keep staging productions of A Few Good Men. Albeit updated for modern sensibilities, which undoubtedly means Jessup will be vindicated.

One of the things I remember most clearly about the ‘webcomics community’ in the mid-2000s was how passionate everyone was, about… well, everything. Drama was a constant. There was no detail so small that it wasn’t worth an argument. There was no achievement so petty that it didn’t deserve celebration. The most precious coin of the realm was sincerity — you could be an jerk. People were fine with that. Just don’t be a milquetoast or hypocrite.

Well, Joey Manley was no hypocrite. And Joey Manley was no milquetoast. He went toe to toe on the subject of comics with anyone. And sometimes, people called him a jerk. Sometimes loudly. And generally they used language that was less ‘PG’ than ‘jerk.’

But that was okay with Joey, because comics mattered to Joey. Art mattered to Joey. And if that meant he was going to be the one man standing up in the middle of remarkable peer pressure and move in a different direction, well, that’s what it would mean.

Which is where we got Modern Tales from. And Girlamatic, Serializer, Graphic Smash and all the rest of the ‘Manley’ sites (which he always referred to as the ‘Modern Tales family.’) 

But I’m getting ahead of my tale. More after the break.

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Every so often, you have to dust the old blog off. In one sense, the most significant new comics-media development in years happened this past week: the launch of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on ABC.

Yeah, most significant. As in, more significant than The Avengers, Iron Man II and III, and The Dark Knight Rises (my arbitrary cutoff would be after Iron Man and The Dark Knight for these purposes, but in one sense this could compete with those luminaries as well).

Why do I say this? Because we have a weekly television series set in the Marvel (Cinematic) Universe on one of the Big Four networks, and its premiere had absolutely absurdly good numbers. Shockingly good numbers. Numbers that roughly tripled Smallville’s best viewerships and exceeded Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman’s best season average. And don’t kid yourself — it was a lot easier to get sixteen million viewers in 1993 than it is today. The demographics for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. were insane — skewing heavily to adults with six figure incomes and adults in the prime advertising demos. (They’re trumpeting the male viewership, because I don’t know — penises or something, but the ratio was roughly 55%-45% male/female, which is to say “don’t claim this is a guy’s show — everybody watched this.”)

So what?

This wasn’t a show about superheroes. Arguably, this wasn’t even a show about ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ since only three members of the primary cast have “Agent” in their job title. This was a show about non paranormals in the Marvel Universe, and it absolutely killed.

That’s a game changer, popular culture wise. There’s a reason the Fox network essentially announced the pre-Batman Jim Gordon Gotham series on the heels of this show. And if they sustain even decent numbers, we’re going to see a ton of superhero/superspy shows next year on the big four. The post-Heroes superhero fad will look ridiculously tame in comparison. No one in television loves anything so much as a successful show they can copy.

(What do want to see? I want to see a show about and starring Lex Luthor. Preferably one with some Breaking Bad in its DNA. No, I don’t mean Bryan Cranston, though I wouldn’t be sad if he were in it. But I digress.)

So, let’s talk about it — after a break, so spoilers aren’t a thing — because there will be spoilers for the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe here and there, as well as the show. (And maybe a few other movies while we’re at it.) Warning done.

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Ask Chris #161: Clash of the Titans

By Chris Sims


Q: How much better is the original Teen Titans series than the New Teen Titans?@boxofmilipedes

A: You know, Millie, it’s funny. New Teen Titans is a book that hits every single checkmark of something I should like. I love teenage superheroes, I’m a sucker for weird team-ups involving goofy combinations like half-demons, half-robots and full-on alien princesses, and Robin and Wally West are two of my all-time favorite characters. Throw those things together in a book by the dude who wrote Tomb of Dracula and the artist who would go on to draw my favorite run ofAvengers? That oughtta be a slam dunk, but every single time I read it, it feels like homework.

Folks, it’s been thirty years. Maybe it’s time we all come together and just admit that New Teen Titans was not that great.


Tumblr Editor’s Note: This is why Chris Sims and I will never be BFFs :(

What? The New Teen Titans (1980) was NOT that great. On what planet? It was the biggest comic in the 1980’s. The BEST.

Honestly? I personally agree.

I’ve read a bunch of Claremont-era X-Men, and several times tried Wolfman-era Titans, and it’s just…

Basically: X-Men of the time felt like people had emotional reactions to things, had strong feelings about what was going on that lead them to take strong actions. Titans felt more like… people were just in these emotional states, and they just kind of kept hitting the same note and expressing how they were in this emotional state, over and over and over. To me, anyway.

Of course, X-Men in the ’90s post-Claremont did that but worse, so.

Yeah — on this one I just couldn’t disagree with Sims more.

New Teen Titans was perhaps the best Levitz-Grid book ever written (and I count those books Levitz himself wrote in that statement.) The stories didn’t just spring on us — they built over time in ways most comics just weren’t doing. As an example, I remember when we were coming up on the first big Trigon payoff, and Robin (IRRC) pulled out a series of photographs of Raven, showing how she’d gone from a roundish-faced innocent young girl to a severe, angular dark figure over time… and I realized how slowly and carefully Perez had changed the artwork to fit that shift.

Before NTT, I couldn’t have cared less about Donna Troy, beyond having dug her Santa outfit in this one story where Haney did a semi-ridiculous take on “A Christmas Carol.” Despite Haney’s best efforts, she was ‘the female Titan,’ nothing more. When NTT hit? Well, one of the single most effective four panel spreads in comics history, IMO, was near the end of “Who Is Donna Troy,” where Donna’s adoptive mother (who Donna was stolen away from) recognizes Donna and a patchwork doll she used to own… well, here:

Donna? DONNA?!

Where did I get that image? I bought the issue in question on Comixology, (New Teen Titans #38) and reread it, after starting this post. And not only is it as good and timeless as I remember (despite the presence of the creepy Terry Long), but it also reminded me of just how effectively Wolfman wrote Dick Grayson. In particular, this was a story that showcased Grayson the detective, and I’d be hard pressed to show a better example. The art, panel layout, use of narration — it’s all just beautifully done. I honestly think this is one of the best single issues of a comic book ever written.

I love Bob Haney’s work and I always will. This isn’t a patch on that. But New Teen Titans changed everything, and did it in a way that was (and here I’m directly disagreeing with Sims) wholly distinct from Claremont/Byrne/Cockrum on X-Men — among other things because the contextual issues were… well, different. The X-Men was, at the time and at its core, about outcasts becoming family. The New Teen Titans was about teenagers who had been locked into their roles by their families breaking out and becoming their own adult selves. Robin breaking away from Batman and becoming Nightwing. Kid Flash retiring from the game entirely. Wonder Girl going from Amazon Princess to young mother with roots in three separate families. Cyborg breaking out from what his father wanted and defining himself in his own way. Changeling/Beast Boy coping with the death of his foster mother and the insanity of his foster father. Starfire embracing her heritage while denying its hold on her. Raven refusing to allow her father to use her to destroy the world. Sims says he might not have really understood it because he didn’t read it before he hit his 20s, and there’s something to that — because for a teenager, the themes of breaking out of what I’m supposed to be and becoming what I am resonated tremendously well.

And by the by? As creepy as Terry Long was? And he was, and the whole situation was creepy and stayed creepy and ugh? Donna Troy was of legal age for that entire relationship. Colossus and Kitty Pryde? 19-20 vs 13-14 (canonically), and neither Xavier nor any of the adults surrounding those two made any serious attempt to intercede. That’s way past creepy and straight into “why exactly wasn’t there jail time here for more than one person here, again?” Just saying.


In today’s Interviewing Trey installment, I introduced a significant character — one who’s a straight shooter, and answers a number of Chapman’s questions without overt hostility or obvious agenda. She was, in my head and in the text, described as mature, with an eye to making her older and thereby giving her a bit of gravitas, so that her words would be received by the reader a certain way. It’s, you know, what we do when we write. We try to create something that will convey the impression we’re striving for.

It just occurred to me that if I sat down and crunched the numbers… this character would be within two or three years of my own age.

That’s a thing that makes a guy think.

On a side note, I also made a brief reference to T Campbell and Jason Waltrip’s Fansbecause it’s nice to acknowledge the people I steal from my influences.


Got several request to make this rebloggable - here you go.

aybirdtodds asked:

How would you feel if they made a Trinity film that focused mainly on Wonder Woman, instead of a solo Wonder Woman (in the way they called the animated film Superman/Batman: Apocalypse even though it was really about Supergirl, just to cater to a demographic)?

You mean adopt the "Hide the Girl" strategy? 

You mean ignore that 51% of the movies goers in this country are women?

You mean ignore that 44% of the audience for Superman were women?

You mean ignore that films with female leads can do well (Hello Hunger Games!) but Hollywood continues to cater to the precious male demographic because apprently the money women spend at the box office is someone how less attractive.

Fuck that noise. Hollywood needs to stop catering to the kind of small minded wrong head bullshit that brings two movies that have the White House being invaded to the screens within months of each of other and express SHOCK when a female lead film opening the same weekend beats the pants off it.

They need to stop pouring money into pieces of shit like the Lone Ranger and after they had a bomb like John Carter but then limit the films that have female leads.

They are in self perpetuating cycle of expressing shock each and anytime their male led movies fail and a film with a women or POC succeeds.

They need stop being paralyzed about how Wonder Woman must be done right when they freely reboot Superman when he fails. Or the Hulk. Or any other male led superhero movie. I wouldn’t be a bit suprised if there’s a new GL movie before Wonder Women.

I’m pragmatic but I’m also tired and frustrated with this constant catering to the idea that male movie goers are fricking special snowflakes who will break out in a sweat or die if they see a female led movie.

Did they go see Aliens? Yeah, they did.

Did they go see Tomb Raider? Yeah they did

Did they go see Hunger Games? Yeah they did (39% of the opening was male).

Did those movies make money? Yeah, they did.

I’m sorry Hollywood is just filled with dudes who believe the world revolves around them.

It doesn’t.

So I had a long essay discussing the current Interviewing Trey chapter… without actually linking to the current Interviewing Trey chapter.

suck at marketing.

When writing fiction with any sense of awareness of self or culture, one has to deal with cultural imperatives as well as dramatic ones.

Okay, ‘has’ is strong. Plenty of people don’t. Plenty of people don’t even think about it. I know. I was one of them. But….

Well, that has to change, and that means it has to change for me as well. Which brings me to today’s Interviewing Trey chapter.

The stuff I’m going to discuss is spoiler ridden, so it goes behind a break. You know, if you care about being spoiled for the story. If not, or if you read it (and thank you if you did), feel free to continue.

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@kelli217 and I have been having a conversation in regards to Man of Steel, which I’m electing not to see based on the reviews by Mark Waid and others. I’ll try to be spoiler-free.

The aforementioned kelli217 asked a good questions as part of this — what about the rookie argument? (IE — what if Superman’s being so new to this means he makes choices we don’t care for.) My response, informed by Waid’s on similar responses, was they could have made a Superboy movie but didn’t. If you make a Superman movie, you don’t get graded on a curve.

The response to that was “What if Superman is not YET worthy of the name, doesn’t realize his potential to realize ideals?”

It’s a good question. The answer requires Myth Criticism.

In Mythological Literary Critical Theory, fiction in all media follows certain archetypical paths, which can be decoded in many ways. One of the hallmarks of these archetypes are failed attempts to reach the archetype. In Greek Myth, where this is most famous, the archetypical Greek hero is Perseus: Perseus strives with Gods but never places himself above them. He succeeds with his strength and heart but never succumbs to foolishness or hubris. And, he is rewarded without punishment, and he and his fellows eventually enter the stars themselves.

Failed attempts to get to the archetypes are ectypes. Ectypes have elements of the archetypical, but fail to achieve that zenith. Examples include Theseus (who abandoned Ariadne, forgot to change the sail of his ship, and ultimately was imprisoned in Hades, his memory stripped, for daring to try and kidnap Persephone), Jason (who betrayed Medea, who killed their children in revenge, and had the favor Hera showed him rescinded, leaving him to be crushed to death by the rotting prow of the Argo alone and unloved), and Bellerophon (whose hubris grew so great he attempted to fly Pegasus to Olympus itself, causing Zeus to either strike him with a thunderbolt or to have a gad-fly sting Pegasus, throwing Bellerophon to death far below).

Likewise, Superman is an archetype. He is, in the end, the hero who gets it right. He makes hard choices, and finds another way. He inspires us not because of his great power, but because his great power is not what makes him a hero. 

If he fails at this? He fails at the archetype. He is an ectype instead. If he acts as Superman but is unable to be Superman, he cannot become Superman. He can still be a hero, of course, but he cannot achieve the archetype.

I wasn’t being flippant in my first answer. Superboy can fail at this ideal. He is, as stated, a rookie. He’s new, learning his way and learning his power. The entire 10 season run of Smallville was about Clark Kent learning all he needed to know and becoming all he needed to be before he could actually be Superman. Had they elected to make (in Waid’s words) Boy of Steel, the crux issues wouldn’t be issues. They might be controversial, but they wouldn’t reflect a core failure of the character.

Once the mantle of Superman is assumed, the character is not becoming, he has become, and at that point the burden is on the writers — he is the figure who finds the other way, who makes the right choice. Barring intentional deconstructions or subversions of the character (Elseworlds, Injustice: Gods Among Us, the Justice Lords on Justice League, and so forth) in the end he will succeed.

In making their character Superman, they make the question of whether he’s ready to be Superman academic. In the end, their figure is a failed ectype and not the archetype. And at that point, there is no going back.

Their ‘Superman,’ in the end, isn’t. And as a result, he can’t be.

A ton of people disagree with me on this, for the record, and that’s fine. God knows I’m not the final word on anything. But, that’s (the major reason) why I’m not going to the movie, and that’s why the character fails for me.


You can understand why people consider female superheroes a losing proposition in mass media — I mean, after the failure of key female superhero properties like The Powerpuff Girls and Kim Possible we’ve demonstrated that—

Wait, what was that? Those were both immensely successful television shows? But… how could that be? That would imply that female action oriented figures who were allowed to act like (in the former case) actual little girls and (in the latter case) actual young women would appeal to the female segment of their audience and pull in strong viewership numbers. Now, how can that be?

No, that’s ridiculous. We know from mass market movies that women won’t go to see such things. Just look at the Hunger Games — as soon as you put a woman at the center of such an action oriented….

What was that? Hrm. Okay, bad example.

All right. Look at Tomb Raider. Here’s a prime example of a traditional, male oriented unrealistic heroine in an action environment. No more of these silly ‘female appealing qualities,’ just Angelina Jolie in a tank top hurling herself in slow motion over—

DOUBLED IT’S FREAKING PRODUCTION BUDGET? NOW COME ON! No. No… that’s okay. Look at its sequel. Its sequel clearly… grossed $156 million off a production budget of $95 million before things like DVD sales.

All right! All right! Elektra! Here’s a movie that was devoid of any strong characterization that itself was a sequel of a movie that underperformed at the box office. It was based on a relatively obscure comics property that was, admittedly, beloved of comic book fans. With all of that stacked against it, obviously it was a monumental flop, which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that female led superhero movies are simply not a viable proposition.

Wait, what was that? Elektra made money? Not a lot — not enough to justify a sequel — but the studio came away with more cash then they paid, on a movie pretty universally known to have been total crap?

Jesus. Um….

Catwoman! A truly terrible movie with a horrible script, terrible CGI, bad acting, a terrible premise, which literally moved away from the comics character of the previous sixty years and created a new one purely so they could get Halle Berry (because Heaven knows putting a black woman in a white woman’s role couldn’t happen) with an execrable plot and absolutely the worst word of mouth any movie has ever received both before and during release failed at the box office and lost money. The Superhero equivalent of Heaven’s Gate failed so utterly that it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that having a superhero movie with a female lead, regardless of any other factors or any other movie experiences, is entirely nonviable in today’s market.

Obviously. Duh.

Meant to put this over here as well. So sorry!

For folks who haven’t seen this in my personal Tumblr, Twitter, Google Plus or other such things… well, consider this my notice that Banter Latte, my fiction site, has come back for at least a multi-week stay (I can say that with confidence, since that content’s already written).

For those that have already seen this, perhaps multiple times… um… well, I hope you find fifty dollars in the street and have the best cup of coffee you’ve had all month later today.

If you don’t drink coffee, then I’m not sure my blessings and well wishes will be of particular help, but you could always use the fifty dollars to buy some other kind of beverage.